Bieber’s Perfume Makes You Feel Like One Less Lonely Girl

So Justin Bieber has his own perfume.  The LA Times blog, All the Rage, says the perfume is for women, but let’s be honest…what self respecting woman is going to wear this scent?

More seriously, we need to discuss the actual aroma of his new spray.  I’m being nice when I refer to it as an ‘aroma,’ because in reality, it smells like he stole a cheap, fruity lip gloss from his favorite backup dancer and had it rebottled in liquid form.  It’s just awful.

And the name—Someday?  Someday WHAT?  Someday you’ll finally hit puberty and become a man?  Or someday you will be able to reveal to the world that you are actually a girl, trapped inside a male body?  It’s not sexy or elusive; it’s just an obscure f’ing word.  I mean come on; your song titles are more intriguing than that, but that’s most likely because someone else writes them for you.

I think the problem stems from the fact that he has zero guys friends (it’s true, I googled it and nothing came up).  Beebs, you need to get a bromance in your life, because at this point I’m pretty sure your GF Selena Gomez is more dudely than you are, considering she doesn’t even have her own perfume.

If the Biebinator should brand any sort of ‘beauty’ product, he should have gone for the more obvious (and less embarrassing) choice: a hair sculpting wax.

Posted by Hannah

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