Grow Up Suri, and Ditch the D&G

Anybody who knows me well enough to know my name and my birthday probably also knows that I can’t f-ing stand Suri Cruise. Yeah, whatever, call me a bitch because she’s four years old, but she’s on the list of celebrity kids I hate, which also includes Maddie Gosselin of the Jon and Kate (minus Jon) Plus 8 clan. I won’t even get started on her (but really, Maddie? Could you be more of an asshole?).

Anyway, I was casually surfing the internet the other day and came across a picture like this of Suri Cruise sucking on a pacifier. I can’t remember the exact caption but it was something along the lines of “OMG! Suri Cruise Still Uses a Pacifier?!”

Uhh, am I on glue here or is anyone else not really surprised? I mean, the kid’s almost five years old, has mastered the paparazzi death stare, wears high heels, AND carries around a $1,700 Dolce and Gabbana bag, so I’m going to go ahead and say that the pacifier isn’t really that out of the question at this point. Yeah, of course I think its odd, but no more so than a four year old sporting a bag worth more than my monthly paycheck!

I’m going to give Suri a tip to help her get off of my (admittedly inappropriate) child hate list: take notes from the sweet princess angel child named Violet Affleck. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t steal that child in three seconds if I had the chance. So, Suri, throw on some mismatched clothes, mess up your hair, dump the bag, and stop looking so mad all the time, and maybe, just maybe, you have a chance with me. Good luck.

Posted by Brooke

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Posted By: netgain

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