How to Make a Music Video Awkward Without Even Trying

Earlier this summer, Taylor Swift debuted the music video for her single “Bad Blood.” Not surprisingly, this remixed version featuring Kendrick Lamar is catchy as hell, and has proved to be a huge success. Also not surprisingly, considering the fact that I’m a huge Taylor Swift fan and action movie junkie, I found myself seriously wishing that the action-packed video would actually become a movie.

What perfectly qualifies “Bad Blood” for Hollywood is the unique ensemble cast that puts badass babes in the spotlight, and people noticed. Most films with weapon-wielding characters, fight sequences, and big explosions are led by men. Taylor, however, features her fiercest girlfriends, who each created their own characters and kick a lot of ass. If this were a real film it would have at the very least been a well-cast blockbuster with lots of cool girls walking away from explosions without looking.
All of my wild daydreaming and errant fan theories are why I found it hilariously delighting yet humorously anticlimactic when I discovered that my wishes had come true – more or less. “Bad Blood” has become a movie!…sort of. Those of us who desperately wanted a movie have been comically reminded to be careful what we wish for. Here is what it would look like if “Bad Blood” were made without Taylor’s lyrics. Enjoy. Or don’t.

Yes, that happened. Have you ever seen so many celebrities look…well…crazy?! To quote Janice Ian from Mean Girls, “it’s like watching a dog walk on its hind legs,” and I can’t help but laugh.

First off, that little voice that half-assedly (is that a word?) tries to lip sync the lyrics is creepy and awkward. Plus, the lyrics are essentially the video’s “plot,” so removing them makes the video pretty nonsensical. Overall, the video views like a laughably bad action movie that tries so hard to be great that it’s actually terrible. As much as I want to, I can’t look away. And, much like a film without a score, the lack of decent music and sound effects didn’t help matters at all.

But you know what? Despite all that, we all know the video wasn’t meant to be this way, so this spoof is actually funny as hell. If it were really a feature film, some of these little hiccups could be done away with pretty easily, so I’m still holding out hope that a production company will pick this up after Taylor’s tour. After all, if Taylor can tell Apple what to do with a Tumblr post, she can create a box office record-breaking film without breaking a sweat!

Posted by Val

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