Armageddon Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Terravivos
Earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, fire, famine, nuclear threats, infections diseases…the list goes on and on, today giving pause to even the most stubborn Nostradamus naysayers. Do I honestly believe the world is going to end in 2012? No. If I did, I’d be cashing in my chits, ditching the 9 to 5, and planning for the best 2011 farewell a boy could dream up! However, with the world on the edge of its seat as the latest natural disaster plays out, it is difficult to dismiss the mass-extinction images of Armageddon and 28 Days Later. And, while most of us respond with a simple ‘hope for the best’ attitude, others take a more proactive approach to self-preservation.
One such group: the members of Terravivos, the “Underground Shelter Network for Long-Term Survival of Future Catastrophe.” For a mere $50K, members enjoy unparalleled peace of mind as shareholders with reserved spots in the über-secret, über-secure, underground, self-contained community designed to withstand most natural disasters or “widespread social anarchy” (think of it as a post-apocalyptic timeshare!). Complete with all the standard amenities found in a top-notch apartment complex, Vivos also features common meeting areas, a hospital, recreation facilities, and even a DNA depository for preserving both human and animal reproductive cells…Noah’s Ark, but underground! With 20 locations planned for the US, four across Europe and additional networks wherever sufficient demand is identified (minimum 200 members), Vivos is well underway, turning this creepy-ass, sci-fi concept into a reality. And speaking of creepy, have no fear, Vivos ensures that all prospective members are carefully screened to identify only those individuals and families who meet their strict criteria and standards. Though the question that remains is how do you weed out the psychos when you’re looking for people who are willing to pony up a minimum of $50K to become a mole person!? Just suffer and die—above ground—like the rest of us normal people.
Posted by Sam