Cake. It’s What’s for Breakfast.
Image source Wikipedia
One of my nicknames in college was, affectionately “Walle” after the loveable robot in the namesake animated Pixar film. This cognomen was bestowed upon me due to my notoriously low blood sugar, which often caused me to go into energy saver zombie mode, or in extreme cases, get “hangry” and pull a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde transformation until someone chucked something edible at me (those near and dear to me have learned to keep treats on their personage at all times when in my company).
It is for this reason that I have never been able to effectively try any of the fad diets that pop up when the weather begins to warm, promising the adherent a svelte spring, slimmer summer and buff beach bod. Since restricting calories or frequency of food intake is simply out of the question (as my coworkers can attest, when they hear the Pavlovian clinking of my lunchbox that begins at oh, 10AM) I have stumbled on a new diet that fits my lifestyle quite well indeed. I give you, The Marie Antoinette Diet.
Image source Kenda Williams
Macaroons and petit fours for all! This diet runs on the principal that it is not as much what you eat as when you eat it. The simple daily regimen consists of following the eating habits of the famous French queen whose diet consisted of cakes in the morning, a large, lengthy lunch of seafood or vegetables and soup or broth for dinner. Whether you blame it on the bodice, the French woman phenomenon (a strict diet of cheese, croissants, wine, bread, butter and more wine and yet they miraculously retain their perfect Parisian proportions), or the Socratic scheme of everything in moderation (really, how much food can one fit in a 22 inch corset anyway), the dainty Austrian Archduchess looked good.
Thus, it looks as if my new morning ritual before work will include a stop at the new Patisserie on Newbury. Not a cake fan? Then there’s probably something egregiously wrong with you, but, if your dieting decisions are somewhat less aristocratic, I offer you these equally unbalanced dieting options for your consideration and amusement: The Pippa Middleton Diet, The Tequila Diet and The Karl Lagerfeld Diet.
Posted by Jenna