Contemplations from the Crib

Image via Huffington Post

I’d be lying if I said that I don’t someday (read: no time in the near future) want to be a parent. I love babies as much as anyone else, but at the end of the day I’m more than happy to pass them off to their mothers and go on with my twenty-one year old routine.

Why? Because you never know what those little squealers are thinking! One minute they’re cuddly and giggling and the next there’s spit-up all over your dry clean only blouse with no warning. My theory is they’re smarter than they come off. I mean, did you just spew formula on me because you were getting annoyed with my baby-voice coos? And how else would they learn the English language in just a couple years? It takes adults a lot longer than that to learn the difference between “your” and “you’re” (don’t even get me started on that…).

Proof that I’m not alone in my “toddlers are smarter than they seem” theory comes in the form of the hottest Internet sensation since Lol Cats: The Philosotoddler. Thanks to the clever minds at reddit and Slacktory, Philosotoddler raises the unspoken questions on the minds of drooling 14-month olds everywhere.

Bringing up deep queries like “If he has a beard, how is he not my father?” and “How am I still breathing if she has my nose?” the diaper-clad, scrunchy-faced tot serves as the Yoda of the crawling population and ponders the meaning of life from behind crib’s bars.

Now if only the Philoso-tot could voice his metaphysical thoughts out loud. Talk about a child-prodigy!

Posted by Mary

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Posted By: marketingmarlo

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