E. Coli is the New Black

Cookie DoughLast Friday, Nestle pulled their Toll House refrigerated cookie dough products off grocery shelves across the nation. The reason? E. coli. The resulting reality? I can only imagine…

In a world without refrigerated cookie dough, how will we know when a jilted ex-girlfriend has entered the grieving period in the latest chick-lit-abomination-made-into-a-movie-starring-Drew Barrymore/Reese Witherspoon/Renee Zellwegger*? How will a female character cope with the surprising—only to her—failure of a dysfunctional relationship? If there’s not a log of Toll House waiting in the fridge, waiting to be washed down with tears and meaningless chatter about “a million more fish in the sea,” will we ever really know that a girl is mourning the end of a relationship (as opposed to diving headfirst into a nice case of bulimia)?

So forget about the short-of-time supermoms who feel the need to domesticate in under 5 minutes, the Ambien-fueled late-nite noshers and…oh yeah…the entire University population across the U.S. Me, I eagerly await the return of non-E. coli-laced Toll House cookie dough for one reason and one reason only: I can’t imagine my next break-up without it.

*The Holy Trinity of romantic comedy leads, subject to blatant female stereotypes regarding relationships, diet and fashion.

Posted by Amelia

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Posted By: marketingmarlo

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