Meet “LAT”- The New Dr. of Romance
Image Source: MNN
Recently, I came across the term “LAT” or “Living Apart Together,” which refers to couples who are very much together but like to live separately from one another. I stared at my screen, genuinely puzzled as to how this works for people. I was aware that this was a ‘thing’ but had no idea there was a term for it.
Popularity around “LAT” has significantly increased because of numerous celebrities opening up about their own experiences with it. Many people (myself included) were shocked to find out that Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Brad Falchuk partake in “LAT.” Paltrow was eager to express that this does not kill the couple’s intimacy at all, but helps them maintain their own identities. Paltrow told The Sunday Times that all her “married friends say that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing.”
I was happy to hear that this strategy is working in favor of Paltrow and Falchuk’s relationship, but I was still curious as to how “LAT” works for normal, average people who are far from famous. Apparently, it works well for couples with different personality types — for example, if one categorizes themselves as introverted and the other extroverted, it is likely that the introvert values their alone time. Living separately can address the specific needs of each person, without having to make drastic comprises to the relationship, says Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and divorce mediator. Additionally, it’s a plus for couples who have very different sleeping schedules and habits. One person might be a very light sleeper and their partner is constantly snoring throughout the night. In this situation, living apart allows each person to get a good night’s sleep without having to change their sleeping habits or routine.
However, circling back to my initial skepticism, it’s said that “LAT” can also cause issues in a relationship. It’s true that there can be complications in the couple’s ‘bonding process,’ which can lead to bigger issues in the future. Not to mention it’s a HUGE financial burden if you’re a couple on a budget. Some people have even said that when asking their significant other if they want to try out “LAT,” they were broken up with there and then, on the spot.
Ultimately, the important thing is that couples are on the same page about their living arrangements, whether they decide to live together or apart. I will say, it must be nice not to worry about the toilet seat constantly being left up (you hear me, ladies?!).
Posted by Julia R