Meet Mr. Fine, Cuddler-Extraordinare
Image source New York Post
When I read about a man named Mike Fine, who opened up to the New York Post about his past cuddle partners (which adds up to 10,000, apparently), I was disturbed and ashamedly a bit amused. Accordingly to the article, “He says he averages seven women per week — for about an hour each — but really racks up his count at parties devoted to the activity, where he snuggles with dozens of partners in a single night.” Cuddling orgies – who woulda thought?
And since you were inevitably wondering, no – Mr. Fine does not practice sex with these thousands of women. I quote:
“I’d choose cuddling 10 times out of 10 [over sex] — it’s more intimate. And at least cuddling I know I’m good at,” explains the 33-year-old bachelor. “Sex is like a chore, a routine — it’s like going to the dentist.”
Said no guy, ever, on this planet. Who are you, Mike, and what have you done with everything we women claim to know about men?!* What disturbed me even more about this article was this statement, from one of Mike’s cuddle partners: “You could tell he knows what he’s doing.” Like cuddling is something you put on your resume, or something.
So how did Mike’s snuggle addiction begin? “So many women turned me down for sex that I figured cuddling would be a great middle ground,” he says. You keep doing your thing, Mikey.
Note: At least this dude doesn’t charge people for their cuddle sesh, because that’s a thing. So since cuddling is now an apparently successful profession, can sitting on the couch watching Netflix be a career? Sign me up!
*Apparently Mike is a comedian, and his career has probably skyrocketed since this article was published. So really this could all be a publicity stunt.
Posted by Erin D.