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The New York Times Begs the Question: Do You Like Your Melons Large or Small?

The New York Times Begs the Question: Do You Like Your Melons Large or Small?

It’s no secret that my humor level is on par with that of a 13-year-old boy. I dig bathroom humor, immature sexual references and a good boob joke. Knowing that, it should come as no surprise that Kim Severson’s story in The New York Times about the shift in preference from large to small melons sent my mind to dirty places. In a nutshell, the article focuses on the increase of farmers growing smaller, sweeter hybrid watermelons instead of the larger “picnic” watermelons. Innocuous enough, yes, but drop the word “water” and hilarity ensues.

Some choice quotes from the piece:

“When I was growing up, the guys were always talking big melons,” said Mr. Bright, a retired biology teacher and school administrator who got into the big-melon game in 1973.

She’s never thought about growing those really big melons…For one thing, the climate’s not right. And even if it were, she doubts they would sell. “People just like a sweet, little melon,” she said.

The story also mentions that big melons are “just right for greasing up and throwing in a pool for the kids to chase,” while their smaller counterparts are “just a bit flatter” and easier to handle. No arguments here.

Lest you think I’m a pervert weirdo, I’m not the only person the article struck as unintentionally comical — check out Gawker’s interpretation of the story. I just can’t wait for the follow-up article on the trend toward small cucumbers. Gone is the desire for long, hard…you fill in the rest.

Posted by Abby