Pretty Kitty, Empty Wallet

Pretty KittyTwo of my best friends just got a cat. I’ve always wanted a dog but haven’t taken the plunge. Why? Because I live in a city and I think it’s cruel to quarantine a dog in a tiny apartment for 10 hours and then make him squat on a concrete sidewalk. Oh yeah, and it’s like having a child. I’d never be home to take care of it and I just can’t afford the added expense. Nothing pisses me off more than when people spend ridiculous amounts of money on their pets. I know… a pet is like a part of the family. But does it really need a diamond-studded collar?

A few days ago, Brad Pitt spent over $80,000 on a custom “run” for his kids’ pet gerbil. Apparently Brad’s two biggest loves are architecture and his kids. So why not spend thousands of dollars constructing a maze for your kids’ rodent? Makes sense to me. Did I mention that this custom run was built on Brad’s French estate? Nice to know that this economic crisis isn’t affecting everyone in America.

In 2006, David Steele, a dentist from Indiana, spent $1800 on gold crowns…for his cat. Apparently Sebastian, a 1-year old Persian, had an under-bite and David was worried that the unique teeth would “break off or become a problem.” After Sebastian was fitted with his new bling, he avoided David for a few days — probably because he was pissed at how stupid he looked. “Hey David — you realize I lick my own ass, cough up hairballs, and eat mice right? Thanks for the gold grillz though.”

So for those of you who love your pets more than yourself, I salute you. I can only image you’ve already done your holiday shopping. If not, let me suggest a Louis Vuitton Dog bag for $2100. Or how about Bellaqua — mineral water for dogs that’s offered in handmade crystal bottles encrusted with jewels? Finally, try the Louis XVI four-poster Precious Palace. Because your dog deserves luxury sleeping quarters, and it’s only $4400. Never mind that your dog can walk, or drink toilet water, or sleep on the carpet… it deserves the very best. Besides, who needs heat this winter?

Posted by Julie

Posted By: marketingmarlo

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