Pretty Kitty, Empty Wallet
Two of my best friends just got a cat. I’ve always wanted a dog but haven’t taken the plunge. Why? Because I live in a city and I think it’s cruel to quarantine a dog in a tiny apartment for 10 hours and then make him squat on a concrete sidewalk. Oh yeah, and it’s like having a child. I’d never be home to take care of it and I just can’t afford the added expense. Nothing pisses me off more than when people spend ridiculous amounts of money on their pets. I know… a pet is like a part of the family. But does it really need a diamond-studded collar?
A few days ago, Brad Pitt spent over $80,000 on a custom “run” for his kids’ pet gerbil. Apparently Brad’s two biggest loves are architecture and his kids. So why not spend thousands of dollars constructing a maze for your kids’ rodent? Makes sense to me. Did I mention that this custom run was built on Brad’s French estate? Nice to know that this economic crisis isn’t affecting everyone in America.
In 2006, David Steele, a dentist from Indiana, spent $1800 on gold crowns…for his cat. Apparently Sebastian, a 1-year old Persian, had an under-bite and David was worried that the unique teeth would “break off or become a problem.” After Sebastian was fitted with his new bling, he avoided David for a few days — probably because he was pissed at how stupid he looked. “Hey David — you realize I lick my own ass, cough up hairballs, and eat mice right? Thanks for the gold grillz though.”
So for those of you who love your pets more than yourself, I salute you. I can only image you’ve already done your holiday shopping. If not, let me suggest a Louis Vuitton Dog bag for $2100. Or how about Bellaqua — mineral water for dogs that’s offered in handmade crystal bottles encrusted with jewels? Finally, try the Louis XVI four-poster Precious Palace. Because your dog deserves luxury sleeping quarters, and it’s only $4400. Never mind that your dog can walk, or drink toilet water, or sleep on the carpet… it deserves the very best. Besides, who needs heat this winter?
Posted by Julie