Image source winecondoms.com
With the year we’ve been having, nothing really surprises me anymore, so when I saw an article on Delish about “wine condoms” I thought it was a stunt from Trojan where they realized some girls need to be drunk before they go south, so why not be efficient and kill two birds with one stone?
I was wrong.
Now that my head’s out of the gutter, I realized these “condoms” are just rubber wine stoppers. Lame.
While the concept is mildly amusing, these guys are trying too hard. It’s like that middle school boy who has to turn every joke into a penis joke for a cheap laugh. Deep down, he’s a smart kid, but he thinks everyone wants to hear his made up story of banging three girls before football practice for a moment in the spotlight.
Here’s why I think these “condoms” are a stretch (see what I did there, because condoms are stretchy…okay, now I’m the middle school boy).
– They’re reusable. Eww
– They’re tiny. Unless we’re talking condoms for Dr. Evil, I don’t see the resemblance.
– One of their selling points is that it’s “wrapped in a sexy gold foil.” When have you EVER heard someone say “mmmm that condom is so damn sexy!”? If you have you might want to rethink your life…
While browsing through their website, I learned that they donate a portion of every sale to “Water.” Cool! I also learned that they solve the “pain-in-the-ass-leans-to-the-side-which-never-quite-fits-in-the-refrigerator” syndrome. See, that’s something that I could get down with, but if I hadn’t done my research for this m.blog, they would have already lost me with cheap innuendos and trashy packaging.
Stop trying so hard and just do you. Rant over.
Posted by Christina B.