What Are They Even Doing Up There?!
In a city rich with triple decker houses, roughly ⅔ of residents suffer from a common affliction: the upstairs neighbor. They stomp. They jump. They start their own amateur candlepin bowling league and rearrange furniture nightly to create the perfect anti-zen for those who live below them.
It is a challenge to determine who suffers the most. Yes, Floor Two is subject to all that goes bump in the night (and morning, and midday…OMG do you people even work?!?!) on Floor Three, but they also have the power to take out their tap shoes and show Floor One what’s good. Floor One can tap/stomp/jumping jack their hearts out, but nary a soul can hear them, save the basement mice (and if those mice could talk, they’d tell you they’d tell Floor One where to get off). I kinda feel for Floor One, but we must recall that they have the easiest access to any porch/yard situation, which they passive aggressively laid claim to by marking their territory with plastic lawn furniture that makes your 20×10 foot space look like the set of a budget Cialis commercial. This, I would argue, evens the karma score.
So who, then, bears the heaviest burden and wears the clunkiest Doc Marten’s? None other than Floor Three. Life on the top comes with responsibility. Not only do they need to stomp, they need to stomp loud and hard enough to motivate, nay, inspire Floor 2 to noise pollute Floor 1! And with no one to inspire-stomp on them, they have to come up with it all on their own.
Not buying it? Watch the video below. I would also like to take this moment to come out as a card carrying member of the third floor mafia, and believe me, I work hard to get Floor Two’s butts out of bed with my 5:30AM burpee routine. Friends, neighbors, this stomp’s for you:
Video source mashable.com
Posted by Erin K.